Alex walks into a bar
by zandugrrl
Summary: After being released from Litchfield, Alex runs a dive bar with Nicky and tries to forget about Piper. Let's see how long that lasts... *Set about 14 months after the events of Season 3*
1. Chapter 1

"Alex walks into a bar. Ouch".

"You'll have to try harder than that", replied a broad brunette. Nicky turned up her nose and continued to wipe down the bar. "Jeez, Alex, you've got no sense of humor lately. That was a classy line."

"Sure, you're the epitome of class, Nic. By the way, what was the name of that girl you took home last night?", Alex teased.

"Who the f*ck cares! At least I'm not growing cobwebs in my hoo hoo like you. How long's it been now? A millennia?"

Alex raised an eyebrow. "Something like that." Almost a year had passed since she had been released from Litchfield. Unlike the first time, Alex had worked hard to cut all ties with her old prison life, and the slight blonde that came along with it. She had carved out a small life for herself in Brooklyn, hustling her way into a job as a bartender. When Nicky was released just a few weeks later, the two became roommates. After calling in a few old favors, the former addicts had earned themselves enough for a deposit on a tiny dive bar in Williamsburg. Nicky wanted to call it every vaginal euphemism under the sun, but eventually Alex fought to name the humble bar "Thirsty Bird". To save face, she didn't tell Nicky why, but Alex would always remember the stories Piper had told her about her time in solitary. In memory of the egg yolk art her former lover had crafted on the cell walls, a yellow neon bird stood proudly over the bar's entrance.

Thanks to Nicky's irresistible charm, Thirsty Bird had become somewhat popular with an indie-hipster crowd of young women, many of whom found their way onto an ever-expanding list of Nichols' conquests. For Alex, however, her casual dating impulse had never quite recovered from her countless run-ins with Piper Chapman. In the last 3 years, the two had got together and broken up more times than she could remember. Within Litchfield's walls, Alex had never been able to completely escape the effect Piper had on her, but since leaving she knew that cutting ties was the only way to move on. Nicky had been assigned all 'bro duties', stopping Alex from answering Piper's calls. Piper called twice a week for almost 2 months before stopping cold. The new bar owners still had a few friends left at Litchfield, namely Morello and Red, but Alex made sure Nicky was the one to get all the gossip and filter out anything Piper-shaped before passing it on.

"Rule number one, don't ever fall in love with a straight girl."

Nicky left the bar to change a barrel in the cellar, leaving Alex alone stacking glasses when a familiar face walked in.

"Of all the sh*tty bars in all the sh*tty towns, I gotta walk into yours."

Alex looked up and smiled. "Well, if it isn't Big Boo! Congrats on the release, girl." She went around the bar to hug her old friend. Boo and Alex had become quite close in her final months at Litchfield and she was pleased when Morello had told Nicky about her impending release.

"Hey Nicky, get up here." Alex called down to the cellar. "What'll it be, Boo? Slippery nipple? Sex on the beach?"

"As long as it's not hooch, I don't care. Hit me up with something sweet." Alex poured Boo a whisky and coke as Nicky came back into the bar, panting.

"Jeez, Vause, what's the…Boo!" Nicky leapt to greet her former sparring partner. "Hey there Nichols, been keeping the p*ssy warm for me?"

"Woah there, Honey Boo Boo, this had better be a flying visit. Don't you be p*ssing all over my territory."

"Scared you can't compete?" Boo replied with a grin.

"Oh great, this again." Alex rolled her eyes at the pair and passed out a round of drinks.

The bar was beginning to fill up with punters. As usual, Alex had been left to do most of the grunt work while Nicky spent her time scoping out vulnerable women and pretending to listen to them complain about their boyfriends. Alex looked for Boo, who was nowhere to be found. "Wow, that was fast." With Nicky stuck at the bar until closing time, it hadn't taken Boo long to find what she was looking for.

As 4am approached, there were only two figures left in a smoky corner of the bar. Alex had let Nicky leave early, not alone of course, and she had already totaled up the night's takings and deposited a wad of cash in the safe. "Night's over, guys, time to get out". Alex gently escorted her last two customers outside and ushered them towards a taxi. She went back to get her bag from behind the bar and heard a flutter of paper.

"I was wondering if you were hiring."

Alex turned around to see a crisp white resume on the bar. 21 bold Helvetica letters stood out on the page: Piper Elizabeth Chapman.


	2. Chapter 2

"You have got to be kidding me."

Alex's eyes looked up and green met blue. She felt a sudden jolt of excitement. She remembered that feeling, and the first time she felt it. When green met blue in a bar all those years ago.

"Nice to see you too."

Piper's sarcastic tone brought Alex back into the present. She turned cold.

"What are you doing here?"

"Looking for an honest day's work?" Piper replied, her eyebrows raised.

"I don't know what they taught you at Smith, but 4am is not the best time to go scouting for employment."

"I wanted to see you too."

Alex paused. She was angry, furious even. All those months she spent strengthening her will power, ignoring calls from Litchfield and forcing thoughts of Piper from her mind. Completely undone in a few seconds.

Before Alex could formulate an angry response, Piper spoke again.

"I need your help."

Alex flipped.

"You need _my_ help? No. No way. I said never again and you heard me."

"I know." Piper spoke calmly. "We both said a lot of nevers. None of them lasted too long though."

Alex couldn't deny that. She had gone back on so many promises to herself about Piper. She swore she would never look the blonde in the eyes again after she left her broken-hearted and flying solo to her mother's funeral. She remembered how quickly she forgave Piper for landing her back in Litchfield so soon after her first release. For putting her life at risk. But the last betrayal hurt the most. She had watched Piper turn from wide-eyed newbie to career criminal, cheating on her with that smug Aussie, wielding her power over their peers. Piper had always been needy and selfish, but Alex hadn't realised just how destructive she could be.

"This one was lasting." Alex replied, immediately regretting using the past tense.

"Was?" Piper teased, pushing her luck once again. She was smart enough to spot the edges of Alex's resolve wearing thin.

"Is. Are. Whatever words you want to use. I'm not your girlfriend, I'm not your friend. I don't even know you anymore."

In her last months at Litchfield, Alex had done an excellent job of keeping her head down and out of Piper's way. Shortly after her brush with death, Kubra was indicted and she could relax again. As much as one can relax in a correctional facility, that is. Alex avoided Piper and anyone related to the panty-sniffing racket she was pioneering, counting down the days until her release. And now, here she was, almost 12 months later, standing in a bar she was proud to call home (yes, she was illegally squatting in the cellar) with the one person who could undo all her hard work.

Piper shuffled on the spot. She folded her arms, then quickly unfolded them as if aware of seeming defensive.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come here."

To Alex's surprise, her former lover picked up her resume and started to leave.

 _Good, leave_ , Alex thought. _And don't come back._

 _I wonder where she's going. Somewhere far away I hope. Is she going to get home okay? It's pretty late and this is not the nicest neighborhood for a skinny white chick, even one who ran a prison crime ring._

Alex couldn't control her inner chivalry any longer.

 _What the f*ck_

"Wait."


	3. Chapter 3

"Hey, can I get Two Brooklyns and an Old Fashioned over here?" Nicky yelled over her shoulder.

"Give me a minute….is it bourbon in the Brooklyn?"

"Rye, use the rye. You are lucky you're f*cking the boss."

"Nobody's f*cking the boss thank you very much." Alex replied, hearing Nicky's aside despite the hum of the packed bar.

"Nothing to be proud of." Nicky quipped back. "Now where are those drinks, Chapman?"

A very flustered Piper hurried three less-than-average-looking cocktails onto Nicky's tray.

"It's a good job I can charm the drinks into any woman I meet."

"I'm grateful for your talents." Piper replied with a smile on her face. Her eyes flicked down the bar and briefly met Alex's.

Alex let a little smile creep onto her face before falling back into work mode.

"Piper, come and finish pulling these pints so I can go and change the barrel."

"Ooh, maybe I can change the barrel?" Piper replied buoyantly.

Alex was too busy to think her response through. "Fine, just hurry up, I need you back on cocktail duty."

Piper practically skipped down the cellar stairs, tripping on the second step and making full use of the hand rail to steady herself. It was hard for her to imagine that she had been in Litchfield just a month ago. Her release was to little fanfare. She didn't talk to her parents much these days and her brother Cal was Eat Pray Loving his way through a meditation retreat in Colorado. Obviously Larry was out of the question, and she had no interest in talking to her old friend Polly, not now that she was shacked up with her lump of an ex. There was only one person Piper wanted to talk to now.

Had Alex answered one of her many phone calls, Piper would have had a chance to explain herself sooner. After getting carried away with her panty-creaming empire, Piper had failed to notice an angry uprising, headed up by a vengeful Flaca, which had led to her being framed for theft and losing her job at Whispers. With no more free panties to up-cycle, Piper was left with janitorial night duty until she left. It was during those long nights scrubbing tiles and rinsing rags that Piper had the time to think. She thought about how prison had changed her, made her stronger. But she also thought about how she'd misused her new-found strength, pushing away Alex and her friends, betraying people who trusted her. Maybe it was all the time she spent sniffing bleach fumes, or watching too many My Name is Earl reruns on Correctional Cable TV, but by the time Piper was released, she was ready to make amends with everyone she had hurt over the years. Starting with her biggest disaster.

"What the hell is taking so long?" Alex found Piper sweating over the gas valve, desperately trying to turn it counter-clockwise.

"It won't turn back." Piper protested, still trying to jam the knob in any direction it would allow.

Alex grabbed a wrench. "Let me finish, go and help Nicky out upstairs."

Piper ran back up to the bar and found Nicky holding her own with a thirsty local biker group that called themselves the Miss-Fires.

"7 Blue Motorcycles!". Nicky yelled the order and Piper began fumbling with bottles.

"Less Rain Man, more Cocktail, Chapman!"

"Tom Cruise didn't even play Rain Man." Piper protested. "And in any event, those on the Autistic spectrum are no less competent than anyone else."

"She's f*cking the boss." Nicky winked at an attractive girl in a studded leather jacked, in an attempt to explain away Piper's shortcomings.

"How many times are you going say that today?" Alex had resumed her post in front of the beer taps.

"I call 'em like I see 'em boss." Nicky teased. Piper looked through the bottle of Blue Curaçao she was pouring to gauge a reaction, but Alex was already engaged in a chat with a customer.


	4. Chapter 4

"Is that a new beer fountain special or have you completely lost it?"

"What? Oh crap." Piper shut the tap off and tried to wipe all the froth from the counter.

"This wouldn't have anything to do with Miss Vause's night off, would it?"

"What? No, I'm just tired, that's all." Piper wasn't fooling anyone, least of all Nicky.

"It's just a date", Nicky prodded.

"Like the 4th of f*cking July", Piper muttered under her breath. She wanted to yell back.

 _You set her up? Thanks a bunch, co-worker._

But she didn't shout. That was how the old Piper would have reacted. Piper 2.0 was calmer, more rational. Yes, the idea of Alex on a cute date made her skin crawl, but that was selfish.

 _Alex deserves to be happy, right? I am glad that she is happy. Oh, who am I kidding, I am so mad right now._

When she walked into Thirsty Bird three weeks ago, Piper had needed help. She'd found out about Alex's new life as a bar owner from Morello and had spent her first few nights staying in an upmarket hostel nearby, working up the courage to come by. Her money was draining fast and she needed work. In an ideal world, she would have found a job elsewhere, but not many people wanted to hire an inexperienced former convict and she had no choice but to go to Alex. Piper was determined to not be the manipulative c*nt (Alex's words still haunted her) she had been before, but the thought of facing Alex after all this time in front of Nicky and a busy bar had been too much to bear. So she had taken a chance and dropped in on her ex at 4 in the morning. When Alex walked her home that night and offered her a job she was truly grateful for the second (or is it third by now?) chance to be in Alex's life. Sure, she would have liked Alex to don a Naval Officer's cap, scoop her up and carry her out of the bar while everybody slow clapped and Up Where We Belong played on the jukebox, but Piper knew that was pushing it. _Baby steps, Chapman, baby steps._

Grateful as she was, there was nothing that could take Piper's mind off Alex's date tonight. She knew where they had gone, a quaint little Italian place a couple of blocks away. She smiled and remembered how cute it was when Alex had pronounced the 'g' in gnocchi when they were in Rome once. They'd traveled to so many beautiful places, seen so much of the world together. And now Alex was wining and dining someone who wasn't her.

 _Stop thinking about Piper, damn it._

Alex was looking at the menu in Il Passatore. Her eyes had fallen on the gorgonzola gnocchi dish and she remembered the fuss that Piper had kicked off in Rome. _What was it she called me? An ignorant buffoon?_ It wouldn't normally be a happy memory, being insulted at dinner, but Piper was so cute when she was being self-righteous. They'd had a blazing row later that night, which led to some spectacular make-up sex.

 _Stop it, focus on tonight._

Alex looked up at her date and smiled. Sparking hazel eyes smiled back at her.

 _Maybe this is not going to be so bad after all..._


	5. Chapter 5

"A promise is a promise, Nic." Alex paced around the bar.

Piper could hear Nicky's voice crackling through the phone but couldn't quite make out her end of the conversation.

"Fine. Next time you end up in the Hamptons after a bender, don't expect me to come and pick you up." Alex hung up and sighed.

"Argh, that woman is annoying sometimes."

Piper smiled sympathetically. _Only sometimes?_

It was 11am and Piper and Alex had spent the last two hours cleaning up the bar. Some of Nicky's old friends had gotten a little out of hand the night before. The bar had taken a beating, with some stools and glasses being the major casualties. Nicky had promised to drop by early to clean up and buy replacement glasses and furniture, but she never showed up.

"Let me go with you." Piper offered.

Alex frowned. "No, you've done enough coming in here on a Sunday morning. I can handle it alone."

"Since when was a trip to Ikea a chore? Come on, let's go." Piper pushed. She was excited at the idea of spending a day away from the bar or her hostel. Not to mention a pseudo-date with Alex.

"Alright." Alex relented, although she felt a pang of guilt about spending the day with her ex instead of her new girlfriend.

It didn't take long to get to Ikea, but it was still long enough for Piper to have plenty to say about Alex's driving skills. Alex drove an old Volvo that she'd bought cheaply from an old acquaintance. She mostly used it to cart bar supplies around and pick Nicky up when she didn't show up to work and it was suitably spacious and Swedish for the day's activities.

Ikea was predictably packed by lunchtime on a Sunday and Alex groaned when she saw the teaming car park.

"In and out, no messing about please," Alex warned Piper with a raised eyebrow.

"Sir, yes sir!" Piper showed Alex just how much of a serious mood she was in by riding a shopping cart all the way to the entrance.

This was the biggest place Piper had been since getting out, and when she thought about it, Ikea was not all that dissimilar to a stylish version of Litchfield. The rows of beds, the canteen, the short-tempered inmates. She felt at home in the open-plan communal space and was glad to have Alex with her.

On the way to the kitchenware department, Alex stopped briefly to look at a room divider.

"Very basement-chic", Piper teased.

"Haha." Alex smiled and moved on. She turned back after a while to find Piper trying out a very comfortable-looking Queen-size bed, dressed with black and white striped bed sheets and far too many pillows.

"Now this I could get used to."

"You might want to get an apartment first," Alex replied.

"When did you become such a realist?" Piper reached out and tugged Alex's sleeve, coaxing her onto the bed beside her.

"Tell me this isn't a thousand times more comfortable than your floor futon and my hostel bunk?"

Alex lay back and closed her eyes for a moment.

"Mmm, it certainly is easy on the ass." Alex was surprisingly at ease lying there, next to Piper, surrounded by Sunday shoppers. She could feel herself smiling before a pang of guilt hit her.

 _Nina, you're dating Nina now._

Nina was a friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend of Nicky's whom Alex had been set up with a few weeks ago. Their first date had consisted of Italian food and a screening of Dazed and Confused at the Sunshine Cinema. They got on well and Alex couldn't deny that Nina was drop dead gorgeous. She could almost hear Crazy Eyes in her head when she first met her. _Chocolate and vanilla, swirl swirl._ They had been on a couple of dates since but Alex was still holding back. She told herself it was embarrassment (squatting in a bar basement will do that to you), but that wasn't the whole story.

Alex abruptly got up from the bed display and hurried Piper along.

"Time to get to work, pillow queen."

Piper grinned at the suggestion and followed Alex to the glass displays.

Alex took the lead. "Let's replace what we lost first, then maybe try some new cocktail glasses, spice things up a bit."

Piper didn't need any excuse to jump into a shopping spree. She stacked their cart with Fyrfaldig Martini glasses and Festlighet Margarita glasses, almost derailing a carefully-balanced display of Mjod beer mugs in the process.

"What about some pitchers, too?"

Alex frowned. "Pitchers be trippin', we've got no more storage space behind the bar."

"That's nothing a couple of Billy bookcases can't handle!" With that, Piper, drunk with spending power, promptly marched the cart to the storage department while Alex tried to keep up. Ironically enough, she was so enthused by the customizable storage solutions on display that she forgot to go back and pick up the pitchers.

They parked their overflowing cart next to a window seat in the restaurant and dined on $2 pasta. Piper was surprised at how nice it felt to eat across from Alex, chatting about nothing. It might not be a fancy Italian restaurant, but it didn't matter.

By the end of the afternoon, the pair had managed to fill two carts to the brim with shelving, stools and glasses and very nearly did not fit everything into Alex's car.

"Nope, sorry, I'm going to have to leave you here", Alex said solemnly.

"What? No!" Piper looked horrified at the thought.

Alex grinned.

When they got back to the bar, they found Nicky sat on the curb outside.

"Have no fear, your unpacker is here," she announced, flexing her biceps like Rosie the Riveter.

"And only 5 hours later than you promised." Alex gave her a friendly shove and went to unlock the bar.


	6. Chapter 6

"If I have to lift one more crate of Pumpkin-infused beer I'm going to turn into one at midnight."

Nicky moaned as she hauled what felt like her thousandth crate behind the bar. The Thirsty Bird crew of former Litchfield inmates were prepping for their big Halloween party.

Nicky was already in her costume, her take on Dracula, which involved wearing a black cape, set of false fangs and counting the number of asses she could get away with smacking before sunrise. She called it 'Count Smackula'.

Alex was getting dressed in the basement and Piper was behind the bar adding the finishing touches to her low-maintenance ghost costume, which was essentially a sheet she had swiped from her hostel home with cut-out eye-holes and smeared lipstick to mark where her ghostly mouth should be.

The bar was looking better than ever after Alex and Piper's recent IKEA haul. A new row of fancy backlit glasses shone on the wall and the bar was lined with modern cork and galvanized steel stools. Nicky had been Halloweenifying everything in sight and there wasn't anywhere that was not laden with cobwebs, rubber bats or cut-out ghouls. Piper had stayed up late the night before, carving pumpkins and drinking beer, the non-pumpkin kind, with Alex. They were getting on so well these days, and Piper could feel that Alex's resentment towards her had lifted. More importantly, she was letting herself having fun, which was no small feat for the blonde, who was the first to admit she'd taken life a little too seriously up until recently. It felt great to have that bond growing with Alex again, but Piper knew it couldn't go any further, not while Alex was dating Nina anyway.

"Well, what do you think?" Piper twirled around, her sheet billowing around her.

"A little Ku Klux for my tastes, but you make it work," Nicky snarked.

Horrified by the thought of any misinterpretation, Piper quickly slung a Mets cap, backwards, over her sheeted head.

"There. Now I'm the ghost of World Series' past."

"Inspired. Now take over my beer carrying detail while I apply excessive amounts of eye liner in the bathroom."

Piper went down into the basement as quietly as she could before leaping out suddenly from behind Alex's room divider.

"Boo!"

"What the f*ck!" Alex jumped before laughing. "What the hell are you wearing?"

Piper was glad that her sheet covered her awkward reaction. Walking (well, leaping) in on her half-naked ex had her lost for words.

"It's nothing you haven't seen before." Alex raised an eyebrow, picking up on Piper's uncharacteristic silence. "Since you're here, you can help me zip up this bad boy."

Alex hauled a huge set of angel wings into Piper's hands and quickly threw on a black t-shirt and pants. Piper couldn't help noticing an unfamiliar tattoo on Alex's waistline.

"Well, here's something I haven't seen before." Piper gestured to a black fine line image of a bird.

"Yeah," Alex replied, quickly pulling down her shirt. "A little something to remember my freedom."

"Freedom from prison?" Piper asked, hoping that the answer was just that simple.

"Something like that." Alex turned around. "Now wing me up!"

By 11pm the bar was crammed full of happy, mildly inebriated women, dancing around to the Ghostbusters theme song. When the line "I ain't afraid of no ghost" came on, everyone pointed at people in ghost costumes and chased them to the edges of the room.

"Get over here, ghost." Alex called her girlfriend over to the bar and leant over to give her a quick peck.

"Boo." Nina replied cutely. She was dressed as a ghost, but instead of Piper's head-to-toe sheet look, she'd painted her body a ghostly white and was dressed in a white vintage lace wedding dress.

"Is white-face a thing now?" Nicky quipped at Alex's new friend.

"She's a ghost, idiot." Alex defended her partner. "And a very cute one at that." She leaned over to gave Nina another kiss.

Piper was serving a customer nearby and had turned a bright shade of red under her sheet.

Nina smiled. "Thank you, honey." "I'm going to sit with my friends, come and say hi in a bit, ok?"

"Be there in a sec." A third kiss set Nina on her way and Piper fuming.

"I vant to suck your toes" Nicky flared her fangs at an unamused Piper.

"Thankfully, ghosts can't take corporeal form so there'll be no sucking of anything tonight."

"It looks like Alex's ghost is getting plenty of corporeal action," Nicky teased, gesturing to the back of the bar with her eyes.

Before she could think about what she was doing, Piper jerked her head and caught sight of Alex and Nina kissing in a booth. She quickly looked away and felt a pang of anger, which she promptly directed towards her co-worker.

"What, are you keeping track of how many women you haven't hooked up with tonight?" Count Smackula had been somewhat upstaged by the plethora of Wonder Women and hot pirate costumes.

Piper had struck a nerve and Nicky retreated to the basement, muttering something about nuance.

Alex sat back in the cosy booth, scanning the bar. Her bar. She was proud of what she had accomplished in such a short amount of time. A decent living, someplace to call home. She looked over at Nina, who was sipping a Piña Ghoul-ada and chatting to a friend. Alex was content; Nina was a nice girl, smart, attractive and fun, but something was missing.

Alex looked over to the bar. Piper was serving a round of drinks to Big Boo, who had arrived dressed as a comically over-sized Oompa Loompa and was enjoying every bit of the attention it brought her. She watched as Piper incorporated part of the Thriller dance while pulling a beer in time with the music.

 _Don't go there, Vause._

Alex thought about her bird tattoo. She had had it inked on her first night out of Litchfield, marking her freedom from everything she wanted to escape from, the big 'P' – Piper. Now she wasn't so sure that she wanted to escape. Alex had enjoyed the last few weeks, and Piper's company, and found herself torn between her previous promise and current feelings.

A panicked-looking Nicky whistled over to Alex, snapping her out of her daydream.

"We got a problem over here." Nicky sent Alex down the basement, while she saw to the customers at the bar.

Piper was already there when Alex arrived. Beer was spurting from the barrel like Vesuvius and Piper had thrown off her ghost costume and used it to plug the leak.

"Wait, wait, wait, we need to shut off the gas." Alex lurched forward to get to the barrel, her angel wings knocking Piper out of the way in the process.

"It's jammed again. We're just going to have to wait for it to stop."

The barrel had emptied itself into the basement, leaving a foamy hop-scented lake. Alex managed to hook up a new barrel while Piper mopped up the mess.

"I think you might need a new costume." Alex looked at a sheet-less Piper. She grabbed one of her bed sheets and looked for some scissors.

"Are you sure? Won't you be need it tonight?" Piper's face fell when she realised that Alex was probably sleeping elsewhere tonight. With someone else.

"I thought you were dying to get into my sheets again." Alex winked and threw the sheet over Piper's head, ramming the Mets cap on top. Piper suddenly felt very warm in the draughty basement.

 _I am._

The rest of the night was uneventful and everybody had a great time, even Piper, who had learned to stop looking over at Alex when she was near Nina. Nicky had left early with a girl in a Buffy costume and Big Boo was still entertaining offers from a skeleton and Lydia from Beetlejuice. Alex had been preoccupied all night, thinking about the ghost of girlfriends past and present, weighing up the pros and cons of letting Piper into her heart again. Things were nice and simple with Nina and the threat of Piper's presence in the bar, stirring up her old feelings, made Alex feel tense. As 2am came nearer and the bar began to empty, she knew what she had to do.

Alex walked over to the girl in the ghost costume. "We need to talk..."


	7. Chapter 7

"All I want for Christmas is youuuuuuu…..ooooooh...baby!" Nicky sang along to the radio, wildly out of tune, while she stacked glasses into the dishwasher.

Alex raised an eyebrow at her friend. "You're full of joy this morning."

"Joy and egg nog!"

Alex sniffed the almost-empty glass on the counter and screwed up her nose. "With extra peppermint schnapps, no less."

"Perks of the job, baby."

Alex smiled to herself. A few months ago she would have given Nicky a lecture on employee etiquette, but today she had other things on her mind. More important things than Nicky drinking away her profits anyway. Business was stable and she'd been pleased to welcome a few more of her Litchfield friends to the bar over the last few weeks. Red and Poussey were among the lucky ones who had had their sentences slashed courtesy of a recent change in legislature that led to a crackdown on prison overcrowding. Alex had no interest in returning to prison, but her less than honorable discharge from the drug industry had left her lonely and glad to be surrounded by familiar faces again.

There was also the matter of a certain blonde.

Right on cue, Piper came running into the bar.

"I'm not late. I've been here for an hour, did you not notice?"

Alex grinned and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. "I somehow doubt that, but I forgive you."

"P-lease. It's too early for your cutesy bullsh*t." Nicky rolled her eyes and downed the last of her breakfast drink before slamming the glass into the dishwasher.

Piper threw off her knitted hat and scarf and stuffed them into the armholes of her jacket. Instinctively, Alex took it from her and hung it behind the bar. She was amused by how in-sync they were these days. They'd been dating for almost two months now but it felt like so much longer. Piper was still officially living at the hostel, but spent almost every night with Alex in the basement.

Things felt different, a lot more relaxed. Piper seemed to have lost the chip on her shoulder that had so often turned her into a prima donna in the past. Aside from strolling into work late, that is.

Some things never change.

Alex left Nicky in charge of the bar during the quiet afternoon shift while she went off to do some last-minute Christmas shopping. Christmas Eve was the first day of the year when Alex begrudgingly allowed herself to acknowledge the onslaught of festivities that seemed to occupy most people for three months. Plus, she was a sucker for a bargain.

"Can't I come with you? Nicky doesn't need me here."

"But how can I lavish you with gifts if you're with me," Alex teased.

"Hmph." Piper fake sulked and kissed Alex as she left. This was the first Christmas that Piper was genuinely not interested in gifts. She had hers already, for almost two months now. At first she was worried that things would get stale without the mind-games and ego-trips that used to play such a dominant role in her relationships with Alex. But the passion was still there, just without any of the sourness that used to taint it.

"Alright, blondie, don't say I never get you anything." Nicky threw a hastily wrapped gift at Piper.

"You know it's not Christmas until tomorrow, right?"

"Eh, Santa got tired of waiting."

Piper ripped off the paper to reveal a pooping reindeer candy dispenser, complete with brown jelly bean refills.

"Just what I always wanted," Piper mocked.

"I aim to please." Nicky laughed and slapped Piper on the shoulder as she walked past.

The bar was filling up now, with plenty of women eager to drink their way into Christmas Day. Piper's new reindeer toy took pride of place on the bar and she was using it to break the ice with some new customers.

"Always a tip wh*re, that one." Nicky joked to Alex and she returned to the bar.

Piper shouted down the bar to Alex. "Hey, where aren't you laden with gifts? Why aren't your arms breaking under the immense weight of all my Christmas gifts?"

Alex simply winked in reply before going down in the basement to get changed.

Midnight came around quickly and everyone was on their feet to countdown to Christmas Day.

"10...9...8..."

Alex scooped am arm around Piper's waist and pulled her in close.

"7...6...5..."

"It feels like New Year's," Piper spoke softly into Alex as they kissed.

"4...3...2..."

"Let's take this upstairs."

Piper frowned. "You mean downstairs, right? To your grungy little basement bedroom?"

Alex took Piper by the hand and led her outside via the back door. "Come with me."

"Ooh, rooftop shenanigans?"

"Not quite."

They walked up an external metal fire escape staircase and Alex stopped when they got to a door on the first floor. She reached in her back pocket and pulled out a tiny box.

"Happy Christmas, Piper."

Piper looked at the box, then up at Alex and grinned. "Why Miss Vause, are you getting down on one knee?"

"Just open it." Alex was smiling, but her heart was pounding.

Piper opened the box and saw a sparking new silver Yale key. She looked at the door, then at Alex.

"Like I said, just open it."

Piper unlocked the shiny black front door. It looked like it had just had a fresh lick of paint. She was about to step inside the hallway before Alex grabbed her.

"Wait a second, there's some carrying-over-the-threshold to be done." Alex lunged at Piper and threw her over her right shoulder in a sloppy fireman's lift. Piper squealed.

"Aah! I'm not sure this is the most romantic of lifts. Put me down!"

Alex plonked Piper down in the hallway, put her hands around her waist and kissed her.

"Welcome home, honey."

Piper looked around in delight. It was a small but smartly decorated studio apartment.

"On my, this is a step up from the basement."

"Several steps. A whole staircase, actually."

Piper scampered around the apartment, picking up things and saying "wow" a lot.

"The furniture is beautiful. I didn't know that interior designer was one of your many hidden talents."

"I called in a few favors." Alex gestured towards a solid wood butcher's block coffee table. "You're looking at the finest in lesbian carpentry."

Piper spotted an Allen key on the sideboard. "And a little Ikea?"

"And a lot of Ikea."

Piper looked at Alex from across the room. Alex looked back at her. They didn't need to say what they both were thinking. In an hour or so they'd both go back downstairs and fend off Nicky's jibes about their ruffled hair. They'd spend the early hours of Christmas morning laughing with friends, before crashing out on their new bed and sleeping until lunch. After that, who knows. And they weren't in any rush to find out.


End file.
